Bandit Blitz
by otalku17
Summary: Krieg. Once a bandit, decided to become a heroic Vault Hunter. That is, until Hyperion caught him and, through mind breaking experimentation, turned him into a blood thirsty psychopath. That's the story we know, but how exactly did our beloved baron of beheading become this way? Krieg/OC. Rated T for swearing, violent moments, and suggestive themes.
1. Beauty and the Bandit

**Well, after reading all these reviews for _What About the Other Two?_, I've come to realize that a few of you would like that to become a continued story. Here's the thing, though. With a game like Borderlands 2, there are many variables to the game that can make exponentially different play throughs. Characters, weapons, artifacts, skill tree variations, and the like. The same goes for a story based off of it. So many choices, it's difficult picking one that sounds the best to me. But...seeing as how I love challenges, I'm going to give it a shot. But before I start working on that, I've decided to do this little story first. Idea was inspired by my buddy, LookinGoodYamcha.**

**Also, just as a notification, Gearbox posted a trailer showing how Krieg got on the train...two days after my interpretation got posted. Ironic, huh? Well, no harm, no foul. Personally, I kinda liked it. Go check it out on YouTube. Just search "Meat Bicycle Built For Two".**

**Enough plugging. Story time.**

* * *

In a small abandoned outpost, somewhere in the vast deserts of Pandora, a tribe of bandits known as The BonePicks had taken the town as their base of operations. While the majority of the tribe was upset that there was no loot anywhere in town nor were there any resistance to "protect their town from the scum of Pandora", they quickly made their home turn profits. They used disguises to make their town seem like any other town, waited for lone travelers to wander in, and proceeded to steal their valuables while the psychos had their fun with the victims.

While the plan seemed to satisfy most of the tribe, their newly "elected" leader desired more bloodshed than treasure. Seeing as how he was so willing to prove his worth as leader by ripping the head of their last leader off his shoulders and wearing the skull as a crown, none of the other members objected to his decree that he would venture into the Pandoran wilds, looking for a victim that every member of the tribe would have to inflict some form of torture on. He returned to the outpost after a few days had passed, dragging behind him a squirming form that he had stuffed in a sack.

"ALRIGHT, YOU PATHETIC WASTES OF BOWELS AND SPACE, LINE UP!" he bellowed, smacking his chest armor as if it was a warning bell. The various marauders, nomads, and midgets grouped together at the town square, quietly murmuring about how this first tribe torture could end up going.

"SHUT YOUR MOUTHS!" the leader shouted, silencing the crowd. "That's better. Now, it's time to see how loyal you idiots are to the tribe. Now, right here's the first inductee into our little tradition." He kicked the sack with a heavy boot, causing the person inside to groan.

"Get used to that," he laughed. "It's gonna get worse come tomorrow. Since I want to see the more creative ways you skag piles can inflict pain, I'm gonna put our guest with our concierge..." He waited for the bandit in charge of housing their psychos to step up and take the prisoner, feeling his blood begin to boil as he waited.

"BLITZ!" he yelled, hoisting the sack over his shoulder as he made his way to the outpost prison.

The prison was divided into three separate areas. The first was a small cell, originally meant for interrogations and housing "disagreeable" inmates, that was barren of any life. The second was a larger cell that housed at least twenty raving psychopaths, each clutching an axe and spouting nonsense about murder and blood. The third was the main office area, with a desk and chair set up to keep a good visual on the two cells. Sitting at the desk with his feet propped up was a man with white hair that he had let go wild. He refused to wear a shirt or upper body armor of any kind, opting for a holster strap instead. He wore orange pants with boots adorned with metal plating. Next to his chair was a custom buzz axe he built himself, with a sharpened metal hand guard and a spinning axe blade.

"Let us out," a psycho shouted, slamming his axe against the bars of the cell. "You can't keep us locked up forever!" The guard merely gave him a cold stare.

"Boss's orders," he replied gruffly. "I let you out, you start cutting up the tribe. I'll see you dead before I even think about picking up the key." This discouraged the psycho, sending him back to socialize with his brothers.

"BLITZ!" a loud voice rang out, shaking the bars of the cells.

"Speak of the devil..." the guard said, refusing to rise from his seat. He merely looked over towards the door as the tribe leader kicked it open. He threw the sack down, causing the person inside to cry out in pain.

"Why the hell do you figure you're better than the rest and can ignore my call?" the leader growled. His attempt at intimidation seemed to work on the various psychos, but failed when it came to its target.

"Your crown told me that if these psychos got loose, I might as well go ahead and get eaten by a rakk hive," he muttered. "Also, seeing as how these nuts could wipe out the entire tribe, you'd be happier in the long run if I kept my word. Right, Grinder?"

"You call me boss or sir," Grinder told him in a low voice. "Remember, I'm the leader of the tribe. That makes me better than you. Don't forget that, Blitz." The bandit guard rose to his feet, revealing that he towered over Grinder by at least six inches. While the boss was secretly intimidated, he refused to show fear to a subordinate.

"Yes, 'sir'," Blitz smirked, his arms crossed. He then turned his attention to the sack. "That the first one to be apart of your little 'Team Building Exercise'?"

"Yeah," Grinder said with an evil smile. "Open the private cell block." Blitz silently obeyed the order, grabbing the key and pulling the door open. Grinder tossed the sack onto the cot inside.

"Make sure no one opens the bag," Grinder ordered Blitz as he made his way to the exit. "I want tomorrow to be as surprising as it can. Got it?" Blitz rolled his eyes at Grinder's enthusiasm.

"Got it, boss," he said. He then watched as the BonePick leader walked off to do whatever it was he liked to do in the outpost. Blitz shook his head when he felt that he wasn't being watched.

"What a jackass," he muttered as he took his seat. While he was a loyal member of the tribe, he secretly despised the fact that Grinder managed to ursup the last boss. He also thought that forcing all the BonePicks to take part in torturing a person was making them no better than the psychos he was in charge of.

"Uhhh...Is he gone?" a voice whispered from the bag. Blitz raised a curious eyebrow at the noise.

_Sounds like a woman,_ he thought to himself. _What's that idiot up to? Most of the men will rather rape her than cause any physical damage._

"Please..." the woman pleaded. "Please help me..."

"Look," Blitz barked. "You keep up this act and the boss will be back here to cut your tongue out!" He listened as the woman attempted to stifle her sobs, and rolled his eyes as she failed. He got up from his seat, grabbing the keys from their hook and walked towards the small cell.

"HE'S GONNA SET US FREE!" a psycho called out to the others, causing the group to start rioting in joy. Blitz then swung his axe at the bars, causing a loud clang to ring out in the jail.

"Shut your mouths before I cut them off!" he barked. The psychos retreated away from the bars and began to shamble around. Blitz returned his focus to the small cell with the captive, turning the key. The woman in the bag jerked suddenly as she heard the cell door shift open.

"Please! I'm sorry!" she cried. "I'll be quiet, just don't hurt me!"

"Shut up," Blitz told her as he reached for the sack's tie. "If I wanted you hurt, I'd give you to those animals next door." He pulled at the rope, loosening it up enough for the woman to peek her head out from the sack. Blitz took a step back as she managed to make her way out.

"Thank you," she said, sniffling slightly. She had shoulder length red hair, a white blouse that was ruined by Grinder's capture of her, black slacks, and black flat shoes. Her make up was smeared due to her crying, further accentuating her bloodshot eyes. Even though she looked like she had been through the roughest experience in her life, the bandit guard found her to be very attractive.

"Just cut the crying out, alright?" Blitz told her. "Should make things a bit better for you." She nodded silently. She wiped her eyes with her bound hands and got herself into a seated position. Blitz immediately turned away from her and began to walk back to his desk.

"Wait," she said. "Why did you let me out of the bag?" Blitz turned to see her looking back at him. He noticed a warmth in her eyes, as if she viewed him as a friend and not her jailer.

"Not sure, to be honest," he admitted. His mind raced, trying to find the reason for himself. Was it because he was just curious, or was it because he wanted to defy Grinder? Maybe he didn't care anymore. Whatever the reason, he figured that since he made it that far that he should see if he could push it any farther. He grabbed his chair and dragged it to the space outside the small cell.

"Tell me," he said as he took his seat. "How does a nice girl like you end up a prisoner in a bandit camp?"

"Last thing I remember was going to my new job," she said, focusing on the ground. "I was waiting for the train, then everything went black. Next thing I know I was in a sack with my hands and feet tied together."

_So Grinder actually had the balls to go into a town to grab this girl?_ Blitz thought. _Guess he doesn't care about being followed by the law. Dumbass is gonna get us all killed..._ He was taken out of his thoughts by two hands grabbing his.

"Seriously," the woman said with a small smile. "Thank you for letting me out of the sack." Blitz felt a warmth in his face that he hadn't felt for what seemed like all of his life. He looked towards the wall, trying to hide his growing redness

"You're welcome," he said. The two sat there for a few more minutes, causing Blitz to feel awkward that she refused to let go of his hands.

"So, I heard the guy who brought me here call you Blitz," the woman finally said, causing the bandit to nod. "Nice name. Mine's Christine."

"Christine," Blitz repeated. "Pretty strange name..."

"What do you mean?" Christine asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

"Well, considering the people I know," he began to jokingly explain, "normal names are more like 'Cleave', 'Blood Sausage', and 'Four Balls'. Your name seems as crazy to me as those names must sounds to you." This caused the captive woman to giggle, further worsening the blushing bandit's condition.

"You're a lot nicer than I thought you'd be," she said.

"Thanks," Blitz muttered. He stared at her as her smile slowly disappeared.

"You know why that guy kidnapped me, don't you?" Christine asked. Blitz immediately looked away, not sure what he should tell her. Should he play dumb and not know the full truth? Should he just tell her everything and watch her hope fizzle and die? Should he lie and keep her happiness alive, even if it meant watching it get snuffed the moment Grinder announces that it's time to start torturing? He looked back at Christine, surprised to see her smile had returned.

"Don't worry," she said. "I won't be mad at you." This reassurance further confused Blitz. Ultimately, he sunk his head and let out a long sigh.

"Yeah, I know," he muttered. "The boss, Grinder, he wants to toughen up the rest of the clan. Make the BonePicks the most feared group of Bandits in all of Pandora. So, he figures that the only way to do that is to force the tribe to take part in a group torturing. Keep them ruthless." He looked up to see Christine looking towards the wall opposite of her. Her eyes seemed distant, as if she were trying to find some place beyond her current location. The bandit shook his head as he rose up from his seat.

_Guess I'm a better bandit than the rest,_ he thought. _I just stole the last thing she had...her hope._ As he grabbed his chair and made his way to his desk. As he reached for the door, he watched as she let out a sobbing breath.

"Blitz," she said, causing the bandit to cringe. "I just want to say..." She paused, causing Blitz to think she was too upset to speak to him.

"Sorry," he muttered quickly, knowing that it wouldn't help the situation.

"Don't be," Christine said. Blitz was shocked by what she had said. He stood like a statue while she turned back to face him, showing her smile had returned.

"It wasn't your fault I was kidnapped," she explained. "You've been really nice to me, and I got a feeling that if we met in different circumstances, we could've been really good friends. I won't blame you for whatever happens tomorrow." Blitz just looked at this woman, who kept smiling back at him. He couldn't believe that she couldn't be angry at the man keeping her from running away. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that the sun was going down, and noticed that Christine was starting to yawn.

"I hope you don't mind," she said, fatigue evident in her voice. "But I think I want to get some rest. Got a big day ahead of me." While she chuckled at her own joke, Blitz felt his stomach tighten at the sound of it. He just watched as she positioned herself onto her side, attempting to get comfortable on the cot.

"Well, goodnight, Blitz," she said as she shut her eyes. Blitz shut the cell door, not forgetting to lock it behind him. He looked over at the woman, who had already drifted off into sleep.

"Goodnight," he whispered. He then made his way back to his post, trying to sort through all of the confusion he had gained from that day.

* * *

**Well, that was the start of it. So, tell me straight, how'd you like it? Is the relationship between Blitz and Christine a better love story than Twilight? Can't wait to see what happens next? Think A Meat Bicycle is better than The Other Two? Let me know in a review.**

**Peace.**


	2. Happy Monopoly Day

**Well, here's a chapter with a little more action for you Psycho fans out there. Don't have much to say for an intro, other than I'm digging the support. Much appreciated. Enjoy.**

* * *

While night continued to creep along, sleep didn't come easy to Blitz. While this wasn't an uncommon experience for the psychos' guard, seeing as how he was always on his toes for any signs of their escape, this time was drastically different. Now he was focused on his other prisoner, who was sleeping in her cell. Much to Blitz's dismay, she seemed very peaceful for a woman who had found out that she was kidnapped and dragged to an abandoned city to be tortured by every member of a murderous gang of bandits.

_I don't get it,_ he thought to himself. _What the hell happened to me? Yesterday, I was the kind of bandit that would take the treasure out of anybody's hands, along with the arm holding it. Now, I'm having conversations with a prisoner and feeling like a nervous wreck the whole time._ He shook his head and reached for his buzz axe. He spun the blade, inspected the grip, and tossed it up in the air. As he caught the falling axe, he looked over to the psychopaths in the mass cell. They had all passed out in random areas.

"Alright," he muttered. "Guess I can try to get some sleep before tomorrow..." He cringed at the thought of what was planned for tomorrow. He slapped the side of his head, and leaned back in his chair. He shut his eyes and forced himself into sleep.

* * *

"GOOD MORNING, YOU SPINELESS SKAG LICKS!" Grinder shouted at the top of his lungs. "Now, before we get today's festivities started, I trust everyone did their homework?" The bandits shouted their confirmations, causing the BonePick leader to smile.

"Good to hear," he told them. "Now, without further to do, let's bring out the guest of honor. BLITZ!" As he shouted the bandit guard's name, the BonePicks turned towards the jail. They watched as Blitz solemnly walked towards the center of the town, the large sack slung over his shoulder. He was handling the sack with care, much to the suspicion of Grinder.

"What's with you?" the boss asked as the subordinate set the bag down as carefully as he carried it.

"She's gonna go through a lot today," Blitz muttered. "Might as well make sure she doesn't suffer brain damage getting dragged through the streets."

"Got a point there," Grinder said. "Don't want her leaving us before everyone gets their sho...wait a minute. How do you know that she's a she?" Blitz tensed up at Grinder's question, but quickly regained his composure.

"You put her in my jail, remember?" he retorted. "You figure she wouldn't try to plead her way out? Also, before you ask, I do know what a woman's voice sounds like." Grinder continued to eye Blitz, while he returned an unfazed gaze. After a few moments, Grinder's evil smile returned to his face.

"Fair enough," he said. "You know what? This display of intelligence calls for a reward. Stay right were you're at." Grinder turned his attention towards the bandits in the crowd.

"Alright!" he shouted. "No use waiting around anymore. Let me introduce you worthless piles to our guest." He tore open the bag, revealing a sight that none of the other bandits were prepared to see. Blitz looked on at Christine, who looked out at the BonePick tribe in fear. Her fear was amplified as they started cat calling towards her.

"Boss, you shouldn't have!" a marauder shouted out. "She sure is something!"

"I want first go at her!" a nomad bellowed out. A flash of anger appeared in Blitz's eyes as he watched Christine look down to the dirt in an attempt to hide her tears.

"Hey, who say's you get first?" another marauder said, shoving the nomad back a step. "Now that I know she's a woman, I got a good way to start this all off. So, I should go first!"

"Both of you jackasses don't deserve it," a midget squeaked out. "I've gotten the most loot for the tribe, so I deserve the first turn!" This sparked the entire crowd to begin arguing among themselves. Some of the bandits even broke out into fistfights to see who would be first.

_Great plan, 'boss',_ Blitz thought. _They'll kill themselves before anyone touches Christine. Huh...guess that's a good thing after all. _Grinder let the men continue to argue before he pulled out his Bandit Redy, Stedy, BOOM! Shotgun and fired off a round into the sky. As the buckshot exploded, the bandits stopped fighting to turn their heads towards their smirking leader.

"None of you are going to go first," he barked. "I already know who's going first. The lucky man will be...Blitz." The BonePick leader, the tribe, and Christine all turned their attention towards Blitz, who stood there dumbfounded.

"Yeah, Blitz, you deserve it," Grinder continued. "You keep the psychos from getting loose and you made sure this little lady stayed safe and sound the whole night. That deserves some form of reward...don't it, boys?" He pointed his shotgun at the crowd, daring anyone to oppose his order. The bandits remained silent, which the bandit leader took as a sign of approval. He then grabbed Christine by her hair and pulled her up to her feet. Her wincing returned the anger in the bandit's eyes.

"Come on, Blitz," Grinder said as he pushed her back down. "Show these brainless sacks of filth how to start this off." Christine landed at Blitz's feet, groaning in pain. At that point, something came over the bandit that seemed very familiar yet different at the same time. His grip on his buzz axe became tighter, his teeth clenched, and his heart raced as if he were in the middle of a fight at that very moment. His eyes shifting from Christine, to the other bandits, to Grinder's smirking face...

_Guess I got no other choice,_ he thought to himself. _Let's get this over with fast_. He shook his head, and rose his axe above his head. Christine looked up in fear, while Grinder grinned in anticipation.

The axe came down with extreme accuracy between Christine hands, causing the ropes to fall to the ground in multiple pieces. Everyone stared at Blitz, who kept his focus on Christine. Her eyes met his, and he saw a mixture of confusion and relief looking up at him.

"Run," he told her. "Now." She didn't respond to the command with words. Rather, she just got up and ran towards the closest path out of the outpost she could find.

"AFTER HER!" Grinder bellowed to the crowd. The thundering footsteps of the marauders, nomads, and midgets echoed as they chased the runaway captive, leaving the bandit leader and the bandit guard to stare the other down.

"What the hell's gotten into you?" Grinder growled. "You looking to get your face blown off?" Blitz chuckled through his gritted teeth.

"Maybe," he said. "Or I could just cut your head off. Tell you the truth, I'm leaning towards the latter." Grinder scowled and pointed his shotgun at the defiant bandit.

"Make your move, traitor," the BonePick boss dared. Blitz smirked as he tossed his buzz axe up in the air. Grinder's focus stayed on the axe, allowing Blitz to take the opportunity to charge. He swung a clutched fist at Grinder's face, taking satisfaction at the sight of him flying backwards and falling towards the ground. At that moment, he jumped up towards the sky, reaching out for his axe. He grabbed his weapon in his hand and prepared to bury it in his opponent. He failed to notice that the shotgun was still in Grinder's hands, and could only watch in horror as the barrel pointed towards his right arm.

"Bad luck," Grinder mocked as he pulled the trigger. The shotgun blast embedded the shot into Blitz's shoulder, stayed dormant for a few seconds, then exploded. The force of the explosion caused Blitz's arm to come clean off. The blast failed to cauterized the wound, as blood began to pour and spray out of his shoulder.

"AAAAARRGGHH!" the bandit cried out as he clutched his bleeding shoulder. He fell to his knees as Grinder rose to his feet in victory.

"That was some punch, Blitz," Grinder said as he rubbed his chin. "I'll give you that. But was it worth your arm? Was it worth betraying the clan? Come on, tell me that much before you die." Blitz looked up to Grinder's face, and spat right in between his eyes. He chuckled weakly as Grinder wiped his face.

"Have it your way then," he said. The BonePick boss then grabbed the former guard by his hair and dragged him back towards the jail. He kicked the door open and looked towards the psycho cell. He smirked as he grabbed the cell keys and made his way towards the cell door.

"Hungry, boys?" he asked the gathering psychos, who replied with bloodthirsty laughter. He put the keys in the cell tumbler, and picked Blitz up to his eye level.

"Just so you know, Blitz," he whispered. "The boys will find that bitch...and I ain't gonna let 'em kill her. No, we're gonna keep her around for a while. Make sure to have as much fun as we can. And she'll be sure to know that it's all because of you." As he said that, he flung the door open and tossed Blitz into the arms of the raving psychos.

* * *

Blitz shot up out of his chair in a cold sweat. He grabbed his right arm to confirm that it was there, and looked around the cell. The psycho's were all passed out on the cell floor, and Christine was curled up on her cot. He looked at her, recalling the emotions he felt in his nightmare. He dropped his head on the desk and clutched the back of his head.

_It doesn't matter what I do tomorrow,_ he thought. _I either watch her die, or try to free her and risk her getting it worse. Either way, she's gonna lose._ He looked up, surprised that he was more concerned about her than how helping her could end up getting him killed. Not only did he fear for her safety, his mind recalled how proud of himself he felt when he cut her free and told her to run. It was like he could've taken on every bandit, badass, and beast on Pandora and ask for seconds. He wasn't sure why he felt that way, but he knew that he would definitely want to feel that way again.

"Guess I got no choice," he said to himself with a smile. He got up, grabbing his axe and keys, and walked towards Christine's cell. He opened the cell as quietly as possible and kneeled down to gently shake her.

"Wake up, Christine," he whispered. She stirred a bit, then looked up to the bandit.

"Blitz?" she shouted. He immediately cupped his hand over his mouth and hushed her.

"Quiet," he told her. "You need to get the hell out of here." He reached for his axe and cut the ropes off her arms. She rubbed her wrists as she rose to her feet, looking at Blitz with a confused look in her eye. Blitz failed to notice, as he was making his way to the psycho cell.

"Wake up," he barked, causing the psychos to stir to their feet. "Make a sound and I'll throw a grenade in there for you to play with, got it?" The psychos remained silent, acting as if they were confused by Blitz's commands.

"How'd you boys like to run free again?" he asked them. The entire group began nodding vigorously, clutching their axes with joy.

"Good to hear, cause I'm feeling generous today," Blitz told them. He tossed the cell key inside, watching as the psychos fought over who got to hold it. "Now, I need you to wait five minutes before you use that key. You get out any sooner than that, I'll cut your legs off and throw you in a skag den. Got it?"

"Five minutes before sweet, bloody freedom," a psycho said. "Got it!"

"Alright," Blitz said, turning towards Christine. He was surprised that she was still standing in the cell.

"You know, an escape usually involves leaving the place you were trapped," Blitz told her.

"Why are you doing this, Blitz?" Christine asked. "You know that you're risking your life to help me, right?" Blitz nodded without saying a word.

"Then tell me why you're doing this for me?" she asked.

"Not sure, to be honest," he smiled at her, causing her to smile back.

"Alright, let's get you out of here," he told her. She nodded and followed him out of the jail into the streets. He looked all around for any signs of other bandits, and gestured for her to follow him towards a garage. Inside was a bandit saw blade technical and various spare parts scattered around the ground. Blitz looked inside and saw that the keys were still in the ignition.

"Ok," he said. "All you gotta do is drive this towards Oasis Bend. It's a safe outpost that has a militia protecting the citizens. Let them know you were kidnapped by the BonePicks and they'll let you in. Use the Fast Travel to get back to your hometown." He opened a few lockers and pulled out a Maliwan fire repeater pistol with a few boxes of ammo.

"Use this on anything that gives you trouble," he said. "No one here uses shields, so just clip 'em once to watch them burn." He helped her into the driver's seat and gave her the gun.

"Wait," Christine said. "Aren't you going with me?" Blitz looked back at her with a sad look in his eyes but a soft smile on his face.

"Can't," he said. "I'm gonna stick around and keep the heat off of you." He saw that the fear had returned in her eyes, and instinctively touched her hand.

"Don't worry," he assured her. "It's gonna take a lot more than a few marauders to take this bandit down." His statement caused Christine to laugh and shake her head.

"You aren't a bandit, Blitz," she said, causing him to raise a curious eyebrow. She leaned towards his face and gently touched her lips to his. As she pulled back, he stared at her in disbelief.

"You're a hero," she told him with a tearful smile.

"Awww..." a familiar voice jeered behind them. "Isn't that sweet, boys?" Christine looked up in horror, while Blitz slowly turned his head and scowled. Grinder and the entire BonePick clan stood in the area in front of the garage door, weapons readily aimed inside.

"I always knew you were a disloyal punk, Blitz," Grinder said with a smirk. "But even I didn't figure that you'd betray us like this. You have anything to say for yourself?" Blitz scowl turned into a defiant smile as he grabbed his buzz axe.

"Yeah, I do," he said. "Your mother was so ugly, a skag wouldn't even drop a pile on her." This caused a few bandits to laugh, while the BonePick boss' eyes shot open in rage.

"ALRIGHT, BOYS!" he shouted. "TURN THE TRAITOR INTO SWISS CHEESE, JUST MAKE SURE NOT TO HIT THE BITCH! ON THREE!" Blitz looked over behind the crowd, noticing familliar faces approaching the crowd from behind.

"ONE..." the figures stood behind the crowd, their axes raised in anticipation.

"TWO..." Blitz smiled as one of the figures jumped in the air and dove into the crowd.

"YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO BLEED!" the leaping psycho screamed as he cleaved into a nomad's head. On that cue, the remaining psychos began running through the bandits, being sure to sever, slice, and stab anyone within their reach. At the carnage began, Grinder turned in shock and aimed his shotgun within the crowd. He ignored the pleas to stop the friendly fire of the other men and kept firing to prevent the psychos from reaching him. Blitz turned to Christine, who was so shocked by the bloodshed that she couldn't drive away.

"Go!" he shouted. "Now!"

"Please come with me!" Christine pleaded. "You don't have to stay and fight." Blitz shook his head in reply.

"I gotta make sure they never bother you again," he explained. "Don't worry. I'll find you again. I promise." Christine smiled back at him and cranked the key. The technical's engine revved over the chaotic fighting outside.

"Thanks, Blitz," she told him. She then stepped on the gas and took off. Blitz watched as she drove past the bandits and faded off into the distance. He turned to face Grinder, who had ran out of ammo and began swinging the gun as if it were a club at the approaching psychos surrounded him.

"Back off you crazy bastards!" he shouted. His pleas were ignored, as the psychos kept inching closer.

"I'll make a nice coat out of him," one muttered.

"I want to cook his small intestine with a rice pilaf on the side!" another shouted.

"Hold on," Blitz shouted, making his way through the crowd towards Grinder. "I want the first cut." The BonePick boss looked at the former guard with furious bewilderment in his face. Blitz returned a calm smile, grabbing a spare axe from a fallen psycho. He tossed it at Grinder's feet.

"First blood wins," he said, grabbing his buzz axe with both hands and taking a mock samurai stance. Grinder grabbed the axe with one hand and growled.

"I'll make sure the blood comes from your throat, traitor!" he spat. As he finished his threat, he took off in a sprint towards his challenger. Blitz held his ground, focusing on the charging bandit. Grinder extended his arm out, ready to swing for Blitz's neck. With one quick slice, Blitz swung his axe down at the attacking shoulder. The strike tore through the bone as if it were made of tissue, causing the arm to fall to the dust. Blood oozed out of the limb while the hand still clutched the axe.

"RRAAAAAGGHHH!" Grinder cried out. "MY ARM!" Blitz tossed his axe into the air, watched it spin, and caught the handle as it came down.

"I win," he muttered as he turned his back and faced the surrounding psychos. He pointed his thumb at the bandit clutching his bleeding shoulder.

"Have fun, boys," he said. The psychos laughed as they started walking towards Grinder. He looked up in horror as they started to point their axes his way.

"NO!" he shouted as they rushed him and began tearing him apart.

Blitz emerged from Grinder's living quarters, having just looted his strong boxes. He had found a Jakobs revolver, a Vladof assault rifle, and roughly two thousand dollars. He saw that the sun was beginning to rise over the mountains.

_Guess I better get going before the psychos..._ Before he could finish his thought, three psychos had surrounded him. He reached for his axe, but was stopped by a psycho shaking his blade at him.

"No need for carving the turkey," he muttered. "We brought the tools for that."

"Yeah," another psycho piped in. "All you need to do is shut your eyes and wait for the surprise." Blitz refused to comply, but the psychos didn't seem to mind. He watched as one pulled his hand from behind his back and over his head in a dramatic fashion.

_Suicide Psycho! _Blitz thought as he flinched, preparing for the grenade blast. He looked towards the hand to verify what bomb it was, but instead found a mask.

"HAPPY MONOPOLY DAY, BOSS!" the trio of psychos shouted as they handed the mask to Blitz. He noticed that it was a variation of one of their masks. It was white with an orange upside-down "V-shaped line, a brown eye patch covering the right eye hole, and a breathing apparatus coming out the center. He held it by the leather head straps and looked towards the psychos in confusion.

"Great Monopoly Day celebration," a psycho babbled. "First, the boss ungrounded us. Then, he prepared us a feast!"

"Truly a boss that deserves a gift like that," another psycho added. "Boss should take it and lead us on a magical, meaty adventure!"

""Boss?"" Blitz thought. ""They think I'm their leader? Huh...Guess I better make the best of this while it lasts.""

"Alright, men!" he shouted. "On this Monopoly Day, I have decided that the BonePick Psychos are gonna wander the lands of Pandora. They shall embark on adventures and return to this town in ten years to share stories of blood and carnage around a campfire of bones. Do you skag piles understand me?!" The psychos saluted Blitz in response.

"Chunky Blood Pool!" they shouted in unison.

"Good," Blitz chuckled. "Spread the word and get your asses in gear." He watched as the psychos split up and ran into the outpost. He then turned his attention towards the path to Oasis Bend, a small smile on his face. He thought back on Christine's kiss, and how she looked at him with those beautiful eyes.

_You're a hero,_ her voice repeated in his head as he pocketed the mask.

"Hero, huh?" Blitz muttered as he started walking. "I could get used to that."

* * *

**So, that's where he found that mask of his. Who'd have thought? After all this, we're gonna be picking up the pace and giving Blitz a few Bounty Board missions to do. That should give the people more of what they want. But what about this chapter, I wonder? Was it something to talk about later? Does it seem off? Was it ever on to begin with? Let a story writer know in a review.**

**Peace.**


	3. Former Bandits Make Decent Heroes

**The long awaited Chapter Three of Bandit Blitz is here! Hooray! I had to go through a lot of creative scrapping to figure this one out, but hey, better late than never, I guess. Although, late is often times considered just as bad as never showing up...Forget I typed that.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"Real smart, Blitz" the reprieved bandit muttered to himself as he wiped the sweat off of his brow. "A beautiful woman wants you to ride off into the distance and live happily ever after somewhere, but you decide to stick around to kill your old boss. Oh yeah, really smart." He had been wandering through the Pandoran desert for hours and, while fortunate that he hadn't encountered any beasts or bandits, was starting to become concerned that he hadn't made it to Oasis Bend.

"Did I take a wrong turn somewhere?" he wondered aloud. "Maybe if I made a left turn at the third sand dune...or the fifth...they all look the DAMN SAME!" He grabbed his axe in rage and threw it as far as he could. He began walking in the direction he threw his axe, stopping as he heard the sound of metal hitting stone. He approached his axe to find that it was lying on a stretch of concrete road that went off into the northern mountain region and southern horizons. He picked up his axe and looked towards both directions.

"Eenie, meenie, miney, mo," he muttered as he pointed his axe in the alternating directions. "Catch a barf skag by the toe. If he bites you, slit its throat. Eenie, meenie, miney...mo." His axe pointed towards the mountains, causing him to shrug indifferently. He began to casually stroll down the center of the road, his hands placed in his pockets. He walked for an hour before his mind began to follow his body's lead and wandered.

_Christine wouldn't stick around Oasis Bend, but maybe someone knows where she fast traveled to,_ he thought. _Some big shot tech stooge who can read the files on the machine or something like that. Wait...would she think I was weird for trying to find her? Crap, this is confusing...I'm sure I'll figure this out when I get to town. Hopefully this is the right way._ The sound of gunfire broke the silence, breaking Blitz's train of thought.

"First sign of life and it sounds pissed," he muttered as he began to run in the direction of the gunfire. "Better than nothing, I guess." He saw a large wall built out of various scrap metals and a draw bridge gate that was pulled up with a trio of bandits and their launcher technical standing outside. One bandit manned the launcher turret, another sat in the technical bed holding a Tediore pistol, and the leader was pounding on the gate with the butt of his Vladof assault rifle. Before he could be seen, Blitz took cover behind a large boulder and peered out to keep an eye on the bandits.

"OPEN UP!" the bandit shouted. "ALL WE WANT TO DO IS MAKE A DEAL! YOU GIVE US $100,000 AND WE'LL GIVE YOU BACK THE KID!" On cue, the bandit in the technical bed hopped out of his seat and into the dust. He reached back inside and pulled out a boy who had his arms and legs tied together. He had short brown hair and wore a grey shirt with black jeans. He dropped the boy at his feet, smiling sadistically as he pointed his pistol at the back of the kid's head.

"Hold her back!" a voice called out from behind the gate.

"I'm not going to let them kill my son!" a woman's voice yelled.

"If you go out there, they'll kill you both!" the voice told her. "Doctor Lontaro, please. We can't afford to lose you."

"And I can't afford to lose Charlie!" the doctor cried.

"We don't have the money, though!" another voice shouted. This caused the turret bandit to smack the controls.

"You hear that, boss?" he angrily asked. "They ain't got the dough!"

"Too bad," the leader sighed. "Guess we're going to have to make an example out of the kid." Charlie began to tear up as the bandit grabbed him by the hair.

_Damn it,_ Blitz thought. _Here we go again._ He grabbed his revolver and walked out from behind the boulder, whistling as loud as he could while twirling the gun in his finger. The bandits snapped their attention towards the former bandit.

"Hey, who the hell are you?" the pistol wielding bandit shouted. Blitz casually stopped in his tracks, looked all around his area, then pointed at himself.

"Who, me?" he asked innocently.

"I don't see any other meat sack around here!" the bandit said with a smirk. Blitz began to rub the back of his head and chuckled.

"Oh, I'm nobody," he responded. "But in a few seconds, I'm gonna be something that you won't."

"Well, what could that be?" the bandit said.

"Alive," Blitz smirked as he aimed for the bandit's head. He fired one quick shot, putting his bullet clean through the forehead of the bandit. As his body fell lifeless into the dirt, the boy began to worm his way out of the area. Meanwhile, the turret bandit was adjusting his aim towards Blitz's location.

"NO ONE KILLS MY BUDDY EXCEPT ME!" he screamed as he launched an explosive barrel. Blitz immediately ran back behind the boulder, the explosion knocking him to his feet. As he got up, he felt the blast of another barrel hit against the boulder. He saw small chunks of rock roll off of their host and into the dust.

_Crap,_ Blitz thought. _This boulder ain't gonna last forever. Gotta come up with something fast._ Another barrel hit the boulder, knocking off more bits of rock. His eyes widened as an idea struck him with equal impact as the exploding barrel. He waited for the next barrel to be launched, pulling out his assault rifle.

BOOM! _One, two, three, four..._ BOOM! He smirked as he chambered the first round and waited for the next barrel.

BOOM!

Blitz jumped out and aimed for the technical. He held the trigger and watched as a burst of bullets made their way towards the newly digitizing barrel. As they made contact, a great explosion consumed the technical and took the bandit along with it. Blitz chuckled as he put away his rifle.

"Forget about someone?" the leader shouted. Blitz turned his head to see that the bandit held the boy by the arm and held a knife to his throat. Blitz reached for his revolver, but stopped as the bandit began to hold his blade tighter against Charlie's throat.

"Drop it or he dies," the bandit said. Blitz growled but complied with his enemy's demands, throwing the gun off into the distance.

"Good dog," the bandit smirked. "Now, come on over here." Blitz walked over towards the bandit and the kid. As the bandit's smile grew, so did Blitz's anger. He stopped a few feet before reaching them, his focus locked on the bandit's knife.

"Drop it," Blitz growled. "I got cash. I'll pay his ransom." The bandit raised a curious eyebrow at the demand.

"You'll pay up for the kid?" he asked. "You got a hundred grand?"

"Not on me," Blitz lied. "Back at my camp. Let him go and I'll tell you where it's at." The bandit alternated his focus between Charlie and Blitz, his mind raced trying to decide on what to do. He eventually kicked the kid away from him, and pointed the knife at Blitz.

"Take me to the cash," he barked. "And if you're lying to me, I'll be sure to come back here and take it out on the entire town...after I skin you alive, of course." Blitz chuckled at how the bandit fell for his bluff.

"What the hell are you laughing about?" the bandit asked angrily. Blitz then pulled out his buzz axe and pointed it towards the bandit's head.

"There ain't any money, you idiot!" Blitz laughed. "Now...you got nothing that'll stop me from killing you!" The bandit felt a flash of rage as he lunged at the bandit.

"YOU SON OF A...!" he managed to get out that much as he went to stab Blitz in the stomach. Blitz reacted by swiftly bringing down his weapon and sheathing it into his skull. The bandit fell down lifeless, allowing Blitz to pull the axe out from its resting place. He looked over to the kid, who was cowering in fear near the gate. Blitz started to walk over towards him, causing the boy to cringe.

"Take it easy," Blitz said. "I'm just gonna cut these ropes." Blitz kneeled down to start sawing at the ropes with his axe. The boy didn't move, fearing that if he did he'd lose his hands or feet. Blitz finished with the rope and brought the kid back to his feet.

"Alright," Blitz said. "You're name's Charlie, right?" Charlie nodded quickly, rubbing the areas of his wrists that were previously tied up.

"Thanks, Mister," Charlie said. "You sure are tough." Blitz chuckled at the praise, not sure how else to respond to it.

"Just luck, kid," Blitz told him. Charlie shook his head in response.

"You killed that guy with a knife stuck in your side," he said as he pointed to Blitz's left side. The former bandit felt at the area and noticed that the handle of his enemy's knife was protruding out. Blood was pouring out at a rapid rate, which only became faster as he pulled the blade out.

"Damn," Blitz muttered as he dropped the blade. He soon felt the world start to spin and fade into blackness. As he layed in the dirt and blood, he heard a small voice scream out.

"MOM! OPEN THE GATE!"

* * *

"Ah, you're waking up..." a feminine voice called out. The former bandit opened his eyes slowly and found himself in a makeshift medical center. Various med hypos, surgery tools, and other medical items were scattered on the tables. He tried to get up, but a sharp pain in his side stopped him from moving.

"The medical hypodermics we have are out of date," the voice began to explain. "They still work miracles, but they're slower than a Hyperion bot with its legs blown off. It's going to take a while to fully heal that wound you got, but I stitched it up to keep it from getting any worse." Blitz turned his head to see that a woman in her mid fourties was sitting next to his bed. She wore a white lab coat, a black button down shirt, tan slacks, and dark brown boots. Her brown hair was put up in a bun held up with two needles.

"Where am I?" Blitz muttered. The woman stood up and approached her patient, inspecting the hypo she had pumping into his arm.

"We call this a doctor's office," the woman joked. "But if you mean the outpost, we call it Heaven's Briar. My name's Laura Lontaro, by the way." The mentioning of her name reminded Blitz of the event that happened before he saved Charlie from the bandits.

"That means that..." he began.

"You saved my son, mister," she said with a smile. "You're a hero."

"I've been hearing that a lot lately," Blitz said with a chuckle. As the two shared a laugh, a man walked into the office. The man in his late fifties who was wearing a cowboy hat, a grey vest over a brown shirt, blue jeans, and cowboy boots. He wore a sheriff's badge on his vest and had two repeaters holstered at his sides.

"Howdy, stranger," he said, tipping his hat. "Name's Sheriff Rockter. Mighty fine work you did on those bandits."

"No problem," Blitz said.

"At least he did something about them," Doctor Lontaro spat at the sheriff. This caused the law man to put his hands in his pockets nervously.

"You know that the town can't lose the only doctor we got!" he argued.

"Did you think that I'd stick around here if they killed Charlie?" she asked. "You think I'd still patch up the damage that the Ripsaw gang does to your deputies if you wouldn't help me get my son back?" The sheriff looked down at his boots, too ashamed to say another word. At that moment, Blitz had gotten up out of his bed, much to the shock of the doctor.

"You shouldn't be moving yet," she said as she attempted to put him back into the bed. He waved her off and pulled the hypo out of his side.

"Stuff works better than you thought, doc," he said as he pointed to his side. "I'm feeling like a new man." The sheriff and the doctor stared at the bandit, shocked that he was able to walk so soon after being stabbed.

"Who are you?" Doctor Lontaro asked. Blitz laughed as he grabbed his weapons from the box next to his bed.

"Call me Blitz," he said.

"Well, Blitz," Rockter began. "Seeing as how you're feeling better, I'd like to offer you an opportunity to make some money around here. We got a bounty board over by the general store that you can check out sometime, if you want to stick around town, that is."

"Sounds good to me," Blitz replied. Before he could make his way out of the office, however, he was stopped by the doctor.

"You aren't going anywhere until I can clear you," she explained. "Seeing as how you can walk alright, though, I'll let you visit the town. Just be sure to come back to me tomorrow morning for the appointment."

"Can I get a doctor's note excusing me from a day of killing?" Blitz joked, causing the doctor to laugh.

"Sure thing," she smiled. Blitz began to walk out, but stopped himself. He had realized that he forgot to pay the doctor for fixing him up. He turned around, but as if she had read his mind, Doctor Lorano waved him off.

"First one's free," she said. "And so will every other time for you. Think of it as a way of saying thanks." Blitz smiled and gave her a nod. He walked outside, noticing how the town looked like the BonePick's outpost. While wandering aimlessly around the town, he noticed that Charlie was hanging around the side of the town gate. The kid looked like he was prying at a loose panel.

"Hey, kid!" Blitz called out as he walked over towards him. Charlie froze in place and stared back at the former bandit.

"Shhh!" he said. "Keep it down! You'll ruin my secret!"

"What are you talking about, kid?" Blitz asked.

"I need to get back to the Ripsaw camp!" Charlie explained. "This is how I can get past the gate and make my way there."

"Hold up," Blitz said. "The Ripsaws? Why the hell would you want to go there?"

"When they kidnapped me," Charlie began to explain, "They forced me to work for them by looting bodies. I found some really cool stuff and hid it away in a skag den. I gotta go get my stash back!" Charlie pried the panel off and began to crawl through the hole. Blitz stopped him by grabbing his ankle and pulling him back.

"Hang on for a second, Charlie," Blitz said. "You just got saved from those clowns and now you're trying to put yourself back into their hands. What do you think your mother would do if she found out you were pulling this stunt?"

"But I need that stash!" Charlie shouted. "It's gonna help me protect Heaven's Briar!"

"Quiet!" Blitz whispered. "Tell you what, I'll go get the stash tomorrow, alright?" Charlie shook his head in response.

"If we take too long, they'll find it and I'll never find it again," he said. Blitz rubbed his head in frustration.

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll go and get your stash. Where's it at?" Charlie began to look excited as he started pointing out the hole.

"You just go through here and take a left one you pass that boulder," he explained. "Shouldn't take you more than a few hours to get there."

"Great," Blitz muttered as he crouched down. "More walking." As he went through the secret passage, Charlie peeked out.

"Thanks again...wait, what's your name?" Charlie asked.

"Blitz," the former bandit said.

"Nice name," Charlie said. "Thanks a lot, Blitz. You can keep the cash you find, but I'm gonna want the gun back." Before Blitz could ask about the gun, Charlie had shut the panel and, for all Blitz knew, had ran back into the town. Blitz shrugged and started off for the Ripsaw camp.

"Kids these days," he muttered. "Or is this crap normal?"

* * *

**Three more notches on the ol' Buzz Axe, and there's still more to come! So, how'd you like this stuff? Enjoyed the bandit fight? Can't wait to see what happens next? Reviews are good ways to be heard.**

**Peace.**


	4. The Skag Whisperer

**Under normal circumstances, this is where I do my best attempt at a humorous author's note, but this isn't normal circumstances. It's been too long to warrant that, so I'm not going to keep you waiting any longer.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The faint pale glow of the moon gave the former bandit enough light to find his way towards the outskirts of the Ripsaw camp. He sat behind the cover of an abandoned building, resting up for what he could only assume would be another struggle.

"Good God," Blitz groaned. "All this running around Pandora will either kill me or make me the best cross-country runner on the whole planet." After taking a moment to rub his calves, he peeked out into the camp. The streets were deserted, giving the illusion that it would be safe to wander out.

_I know better than this, _Blitz thought to himself. _They've probably got a set of bandits patrolling the perimeter to keep jerks like me from getting too close..._ He looked towards a path that was covered by a series of connected balconies. He clutched his assault rifle and dashed towards the safety of the path. He caught his breath as he listened to the sound of footsteps marching above his head.

_Knew it,_ he silently chuckled. He walked a ways further, making his way to the center of the outpost. He quickly checked to make sure that he wasn't being watched, then turned his attention towards a large statue. The large stone figure depicted a man with circular saw blades attached to his shoulders and wrists standing defiantly on top of a corpse. The body was being torn apart limb by limb by four skags. The former bandit shrugged off the unease that was beginning to come over him.

"Now, where am I supposed to start looking?" Blitz asked himself aloud. "Oh, that's right. The runt left out that little detail! I'm going to end up being killed before I'll get anywhere near the stash."

{Come in, Blitz!} The runt's voice startled the former bandit, nearly causing him to give up his position. He fumbled with his rifle and quickly aimed it in every conceivable direction, but found no sign of other life nearby.

"Kid?" he whispered. "You there?"

{Nah, couldn't manage to leave town,} Charlie explained. {But I did manage to find out that mom planted an old ECHO communicator on you.} Blitz began to pat himself down, eventually finding a small communicator attached to his belt next to his axe.

{It's an old model, so it doesn't have a HUD uplink,} Charlie explained. {Luckily, I found a locator that we can use to guide you to my stash. So, can you see a large statue of a dude with Skags eating a body?}

"Right in front of me," Blitz informed. "Impressive they managed to make it, but it's starting to make me sick."

{Good,} the kid said. {That means that you're close. Go down the path in the direction of the skag eating the left leg.} Blitz checked to see if he was being watched before he ventured out and followed the dirt path. He soon found himself leaving the buildings behind and saw a crude fence structure that corralled a section next to a large rock wall. In the center of the area was a large metal shack constructed out of signs and runner parts.

{Alright, the stash is in the skag's pen you should be near,} Charlie explained. {Try looking for a hole in the...}

"Hang on," Blitz interrupted. "Did you say the stash was _inside_ the skag den? As in the same four skags that are used to rip off limbs? ...On second thought, I think I'll head back to town and get myself a drink."

{HEY!} Charlie shouted, causing Blitz to clutch his ear in pain. {You can't drop this job! You're already there, so finish what you started! Besides, the skags are harmless.}

"I must still be out on the operating table, because it sounded like you just said that the skags are harmless," the former bandit muttered as he ran his hand through his hair.

{Don't let the statue fool you,} Charlie explained. {Those skags had to be trained to keep them from killing their handlers. They only attack when they hear the special trigger phrase from the handler.} Blitz felt his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, realizing that he never figured that anyone had the patience to tame a skag, let alone a tribe of bandits. His curiosity eventually pushed him to look over the barricade to see the four beasts sleeping in various spots in the dust. While they still had the outward appearances of monsters, they seemed quite peaceful.

_...Still can't believe it,_ he thought. _Gotta test 'em._ He reached down and grabbed a rock, tossing it into the air to judge its weight. He picked out the closest one and chucked the rock at its head. The skag grunted in response, looked up lazily, then slowly returned to its slumber.

"Wow..." Blitz whispered. "They're completely brain-dead."

{See?} Charlie asked. {No worries. Now go and get the stash!} Blitz silently complied and hopped over the fence. He looked on and smirked as the skags barely stirred when he hit the dirt. He strolled along towards the rock wall and started to search for the hole. He eventually came across what looked like a half-finished skag den entrance.

_Guess this is it,_ he thought as he knelt down. He looked inside and noticed a cardboard box inside.

"Score," he said, reaching inside and claiming the prize.

{You found it?} the kid asked. {Awesome! Don't forget the deal we made. You can keep the cash, just bring back the gun.}

_Big deal,_ Blitz thought as he cut open the tape. _What did the kid manage to get ahold of? Five dollars in nickels and a...Holy Crap._ He found himself awestruck at the massive pile of cash bundles he found inside. Hands trembling, he reached in and began to thumb through the bills.

"Ten, twenty, thirty..." he began to count. "Jeez, this kid managed to pinch..."

{$50,000,} Charlie interrupted. {Would've been more, but I didn't want to risk getting found out. Don't forget the gun.} Blitz began to pocket all the cash, eager to see what kind of gun the kid was able to get his hands on. As he cleared the money out of the way, his eager smile soon changed to a confused grimace.

The gun he found looked like a Maliwan E-tech SMG, but it looked more like a toy than an actual weapon. It had a top loading cylinder clip filled with purple fluid, a pumping mechanism under the barrel, and a white and purple color design.

"What the hell, Charlie?" Blitz asked. "This thing looks like a freakin' squirt gun!"

{It is,} Charlie said proudly. {The other bandits were going to throw it away, but I saved it!}

"I can't believe it..." Blitz groaned. "First, I risk my life saving your neck and get myself stabbed in the process. Then, in another boneheaded move, I let you convince me to go out to a bandit camp immediately after your mother told me to stay and heal. And what was it all for? Some cash and a little toy?" The former bandit waited patiently for some form of a retort, tapping his ear to make sure that he could still hear.

{You'll see for yourself when you give it back,} Charlie finally said. {Besides, fifty grand is nothing to complain about, so quit the bellyaching and bring back my gun!}

"Fine!" Blitz muttered. He put the squirt gun into his belt mounted digistruct holster, the bright light flashing as it transformed into code and dissapeared.

"By the way," the former bandit began, "Before I forget to ask. What's the phrase that made the skags go back to normal?"

"MAKE 'EM BLEED, BITCHES!" a voice shouted. Blitz snapped his attention up to see a small group of marauders that were being led by a nomad with a five foot skag prod in his hands and a large battery attached to his back. Before Blitz could draw his weapon, he felt something slimy wrap around his right arm. He turned to see that the skag he hit with the rock growling up at him, its tongue keeping him from defending himself. While he began to claw at his arm, he failed to realize that two other skags were stalking him from the front. They shot out their tongues and wrapped his legs up, pulling him down to the dirt.

"Damn!" Blitz grunted. "Guess he must be the handler." Before he could even think to go for his gun with his free hand, the final skag had shot his tongue out and assured that he had lost all ability to defend himself.

"Well, well, well..." the nomad chortled as he strolled towards the fallen Blitz. "It looks like someone forgot that trespassing on Ripsaw territory is the most painful and stupid way to kill yourself." The nomad lifted his large boot and stomped onto Blitz's chest, causing him to shout out in pain.

"What a weakling!" a marauder shouted. "Guess all those muscles are for show."

"Last time I checked," Blitz spat, "your three boys near Heaven's Briar didn't last five minutes against me, and they had a launcher technical!" This caused the nomad to lift his foot off of Blitz's chest in shock.

"He's the one that killed Gore and his boys?" another marauder asked. The marauders began to murmur nervously among themselves, while the skag's handler rushed over to his men and slammed his weapon down, letting sparks fly towards his cowering men.

"You bunch of damn sissies!" he bellowed. "This pile of rakk crap ain't gonna take us out! Now watch as the dogs eat his head like it was a grape!"

_Can't let it end like this,_ Blitz thought as he watched the nomad stroll over to him. The nomad stood over the former bandit's head, leaning down until he was a few inches above his face.

"Well, tough guy," the handler said. "Do you have any last words before you get a good look at skag digestion?"

"Sure," Blitz smirked. "When I get out of this, I'm gonna make you eat that shock stick." He finished his comeback with a head-butt to the nomad's nose that made him snap his head back.

"GODDAMMIT!" he shouted as he clutched his nose, blood gushing out and dribbling down his arm. "YOU'D REGRET THAT IF YOU WERE GONNA SURVIVE! STUFF YOUR FACES!" Blitz felt the tongue on his left arm loosen up and retract back into its owner's mouth. The skag started to stalk its prey, almost as if it was mocking Blitz by prolonging the inevitable. Blitz dropped his free arm, feeling the axe as it came down.

_Got it,_ Blitz thought, a smirk growing on his face. He waited for the skag to open its mouth and roar, taking the opportunity to pull his axe out and swing it down on the tongue holding his right arm down.

"REEEEEAAAAHH!" the skag squealed as he bled into the dirt. As quick as he could, he reached up to the skag over his head and grabbed its jaws. He proceeded to rip them apart, effectively splitting the beast's head open. He tossed it towards the skags at his feet. The smell of their dead companion caused them to reel back and relinquish their grip on the former bandit. As he sat up, he pulled out his revolver and put three shots in each of their heads. Blitz then rose to his feet, turned to the tongueless skag, and sheathed his axe into its spine.

"He...he took out Boss's skags!" a marauder shouted. This prompted him and the other marauders to drop their guns and flee from the fight. The nomad managed to ignore the pain he was in long enough to see his allies become cowards, and threw his weapon down in anger.

"YOU IDIOTS GET BACK HERE, OR I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND MAKE A NEW COAT OUT OF YOUR SORRY HIDES!" he yelled. As he stomped his feet into the dust and shook his fists, he failed to notice that Blitz had snuck up behind him, buzz axe in hand. As quietly as he could, he swung his axe and cleaved into the back of the nomad's knee.

"SON OF A BITCH!" the wounded bandit screamed as he fell to the ground. Blitz wasted little time in fulfilling his promise as he knelt down and picked up the prod. He squeezed the trigger and chuckled as the sparks flew from the end.

"This is gonna be fun," Blitz murmured as he stood over his fallen enemy.

"Wait!" the nomad pleaded. "You can't do this! You...You're supposed to be a good guy, right? Good guys don't do this kind of crap!" Blitz responded by waving the business end of the skag prod closer and closer to the nomad's face.

"I think there's some saying about old habits that would work here," Blitz mockingly wondered aloud. "Now, open wide and say 'Aahhh'." Blitz stomped onto the nomad's chest, causing him to gasp for air. Blitz then took the opportunity to jam the prod into his enemy's mouth and turned it on full blast. The electricity caused the nomad to jolt and seize, nearly bucking Blitz off of him. The former bandit managed to hold his position and continue to feed his victim electricity. As the torture continued, the nomad's eyes began to bulge out of his skull and smoke began to rise from his face, eventually leading to his entire head bursting, leaving only a skull in its place.

"Woah ho ho," Blitz chuckled. "Didn't know that was possible."

{Blitz!} Charlie called out. {Come in, Blitz. Are you still alive?}

"Yeah, runt," Blitz sighed. "Still kicking."

{Did you manage to keep the gun?} the boy asked.

"What is it with you and that freakin' toy?" Blitz asked. "Yeah, I got it."

{Great!} Charlie cheered. {Hurry up and bring it back.}

_Fantastic,_ Blitz thought. _More walking. God, I'd kill for a..._ His train of thought was stopped as he noticed that the marauders had drove a sawblade technical and left it behind when they fled.

"This is more like it," Blitz said with a smile as he jumped into the driver seat. After hearing the engine rev and roar, the former bandit put the technical in drive and tore off into the night.

* * *

**Death by electric explosion is a hell of a way to go, but I'm sure that it looks cooler than it feels. So, are your appetites for gore appeased? Do you want to see what other adventures Blitz will get himself into? Let me know in a review, if you have the time. Until then, I'll be workin'.**

**Peace.**


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